Connections

Hyrum (10) has some great insights about this photo when he saw it over my shoulder.

"Hey, mom, this is like life.  We are dropped onto the earth and it is through trials and growing that we become flowers.  But we need to be careful to not become weeds!"

I love principle-based learning.  We are always looking for connections and context in our home for the things we learn and are exposed to.  What an insightful little conversation!   We had a devotional on "spiritual traction" yesterday where we talked about our burdens will actually help us grow and we shouldn't be always looking for ways out of them...but rather what can we learn from them.  What a timely, inspired message for our friend to send through this picture as a way to reinforce that lesson!

Season: Putting on a Play!

Last week I didn't focus on anything each day but getting ready for dress rehearsals, reviewing lines, putting a few props and costumes in order and other odds and ends for the play "Jane Eyre."  My oldest, Tova (18) had worked last summer on adapting the book into a play and scaled it down to a very effective, impactful 2 hour production.  She organized performers, rehearsals and locations, student-directed and dealt with some pretty major hurdles of people dropping out for one reason or another, location problems, and all those last-minute flusters that are the bane of every director. 

And she handled it beautifully.


We ended up having 6 of our children in it, two as orphans and one with relatively small speaking parts and then three with multiple parts or major roles.  It was fantastic to see Kel (17) play a fantastic John Eyre and then a disgruntled yet passionate Rochester.  I think he counted 250 some-odd lines for his main role and he got them all.  Oh, and I was the old lady version of Jane, but I just sat in a rocking chair and read my lines while I pretended to "write them down" in a journal...Tova's clever idea of a narrator to help bridge those gaps in story-line.

The play was passionate, emotional, amusing at a few points and an excellent selection of examples of human character.  They did a fantastic job and it was totally worth it!

Tova (second from left), Drew and then Lily to the right of Tova, Hava in front, and Kel is far right

During weeks like this, we learn hard and fast:
-how to get out the door with all the props we need
-how to review lines again and again even when we are tired of them
-how to find meaning and depth in those lines and make them convincing
-how to be creative in coming up with effective props and costumes
-how to care for siblings if you are left home while everyone else is at rehearsal
-how to prioritize: the house was a mess many nights and I am sure we ate cold cereal for dinner at least one night
-how to try and get those absolutely essential things in as well in a shorter yet still effective manner: family work, outside employment, other classes, devotionals, and family reading (yes, those are essentials :)....)
-how to still show Dad that we love him even as we are running like mad back and forth
-how to cook a dinner and have it ready for needy actors when you are not going to be in your house because of a home inspection and final walk-through of buyers for our house...literally for the three hours right before our call-time for our last production...crazy!
-how to still be nice and supportive of each other.  That can be tricky :).

Piper and I have joined this picture.  Me top center and Piper bottom left.

March Theme: Society and Happiness in Family Life--devotionals so far

This month we are focusing on what makes a good society...and more specifically, what makes our family a good society.  This month I have separated out my devotionals into three age groups:
-my two little girls, 4 and 6: we have talked about serving around the home and trusting God, praying to Him for protection and answers.  I have found that doing a little 15 minute devotional at their level fills their little love cups, allows for a simpler discussion, and allows for a lot of repetition without boredom from older children
-any "middle kids" who want to come: we have been talking about service and obedience and love as a way to make our home a happier place
-oldest group: I have had articles and talks for them to listen to and then find and share two of the following:
--a quote
--a question
--a principle
--an application

This week for the oldest group we have been focusing on an amazing article I need to share:
Brad Wilcox: "His Grace is Sufficient" 
I have printed up the talk and then we listen to it while following along.  We have just done about 8 minutes of it a day to really spread it out and allow for discussion.  I don't usually do the oldest one on Tuesdays (and sometimes Thursdays) because the oldest ones go to seminary (both days) and the temple (Tuesday only) so it doesn't always work to have the third or even second devotional so we will all do it together.  By splitting up the talk this way, we are better able to savor and discuss the different points and still get it done in one week.
 

A different look at piano lessons

My oldest was about 5 or 6 and I knew that she was gifted with music.  Tova had been singing since she could talk and loved to "play on the piano."  I simply knew that as a competent pianist (and her loving mother) I could give her the gift of music.  You get a good music book, drill her until she perfects that song, make her practice and voila!  Success! After all, everyone else did it

So, we sat down with a highly recommended book and we both excitedly began.  The excitement soon wore off for my daughter with days that followed of nagging on my part: both for practicing and perfection.  After all, that was how we all get better, right?  

My daughter is not like her brother and I, feisty verbal fighters.  She is more like my husband, quietly immovable.  She grew more and more silent and refused more and more to sit down to practice.  Determined that my reputation as a parent was on the line, I pushed and pushed, bribed and demanded. The outcome?

.
The outcome? My daughter would not sit down to play at the piano for another 5 years.

I have had similar (albeit less dramatic) experiences with many other subjects and other children, although I have been able to recognize the signs sooner, fortunately.  I had to re-evaluate my goals with the piano.  I wanted my kids to have the enjoyment and confidence that musical talents grant: the ability to serve in the church, the joy of sitting down to calm down while playing an instrument, the experience of performing for the enjoyment of others.

However, as I looked around me, I saw many people who were burned out by the very method I had tried to force Avot through, people who had started on that musical path but who eventually dropped it or just stubbornly refused to progress.

When Tova was 12, she wanted to play the violin.  She asked about it constantly and I told her that I wasn't going to invest in an instrument and lessons if she wasn't going to be able to be dedicated to it.  The test?  She had to show that she could play and practice the piano for 6 months, three times a week.  Then, and only then, would I look into a violin and lessons.  That made sense to her and so we began.  However, this time my focus was different.  I found songs that she enjoyed at her level.  We would play them until she had shown competence in them, I would ask her if she wanted to work on it some more and then we would move on when she was ready.  There were even some songs that she just got tired of and we didn't ever finish.  I knew that other songs would teach her those same skills and it was far more effective to have her practicing a song that she loved, a song that she just couldn't resist sitting down to play every time she passed the piano.  

My goal?  To love and enjoy creating music.  The perfecting, the skills, the "nit-picky" analysis of her playing came later as she realized that she had more to learn and that she couldn't do it as well without me.  There had come a time when she just wanted to learn on her own. I would try to weekly ask her if she wanted a "lesson" (a time to guide her through her songs of preference and offer suggestions if she wanted to try them), but most of the time, she didn't.  

I also continued to play.  I offered lessons to the other kids, trying to find music and times that worked for them.  Super Kel has worked on and played maybe a total of 20 songs in his life and has played some beautiful ones.  I keep telling him that if he just played more, he could really play anything he wanted to.

The other kids have had different experiences, unique but positive:
-Tova has mastered her ability to the point she can play all the hymns and children's songs for our church, play a huge variety of songs, has accompanied choirs before and can pretty much learn whatever she wants to short of professional level

-The Goob likes the periodic, spontaneous lesson that involves bizarre sounding music that is repetitious and quick to learn.  Lately, however, he has asked for piano lessons every day, determined to learn the songs from the easy piano version of "Lord of the Rings" songs.  

-Lily (12) is more of a steady and sure type, but also determined to just play songs that she likes and only for as long as she likes. I have tried to give her "teaching" songs...songs to specifically teach her a skill but may not interest her musically and it bombs.  Sure, she goes through the motions during piano lessons, but when it comes to practicing she really doesn't progress because she doesn't love it.  Logic is not her strong-point so it all has to be emotional and audio: beautiful or fun music that I need to play again and again so she can memorize what it looks like and sounds like. We are barely starting to work on note recognition but she is one of my most dedicated students, with more practicing and lessons than most of the other kids.

-Chugger-dude (10) will do anything for a reward, loves to be methodical and is completely logical...which translates to the "ideal" piano student as far as classic techniques of teaching go, although each of them is a fun challenge.

-Little ones? We have fun with simple songs and I pull out the "super easy" book for beginners if they insist on being more "formal."  It normally doesn't last long, but they are happy and have fun.

Sports Day!

For those who are local, we have a sports day every Thursday, mentored by me and my husband, who both love sports!  We divide up into age groups and interests and sometimes have to be downright spontaneous when we have a flood of new people :). 

Benefits?
-team sports experience in a supportive environment
-learn good sportmanship
-learn proper warm-up and stretching techniques
-bond with people of many ages
-mentoring on techniques while having fun!

We were noticing this last week as we played ultimate frisbee how well the youth were doing who have been coming almost every week.

We are currently starting at an LDS church off of Highway 89 in Fruit Heights just a little north of Green Road (you can see it from Highway 89) with warm-ups and dodgeball.  After about 15-20 minutes of this, often an "older group" will split off and go to Nichol's Park to play ultimate frisbee, soccer, or football while the "younger group" stays to play dodgeball and other indoor games.  The kids decide for themselves where they go and parental supervision is required unless other arrangements are made with us.  We often have older kids stay to play indoors and younger ones go to play ultimate frisbee or soccer, so the line dividing the two is very loose :).

Every Thursday 4-5 pm.  Email me at biesingerm@gmail.com if you want to be on our list.

"GO Schooling"

I just found this delightful group with some fun posts.  I don't usually follow blogs outside of friend's blogs, knowing how much time it can take, but this one is fantastic!

http://goschoolers.com/

Apparently, you can sign up through their group to see Ballet West's version of Aladdin on April 13th at Capitol Theater!  Hopefully we will see some of you there!

Mellowing...

Tuesday was about as mellow as they come around here...we are definitely slowing down.  Devotional happened while the older ones were at seminary, but then it was time for scattering.  Liliputian was having a harder morning so we spent time together doing a very calm, supportive piano lesson.  I would rub her shoulders and praise her often, softening the hurt I could see all coiled up inside of her.  After we finished, she went elsewhere to read, much more calm.

At that point, lacking energy still, I asked Pipalicious if she wanted to read with me, since we hadn't gotten to it the day before.  As I sat there snuggling with her, I thought about all the needs I was meeting at once: snuggling (physical affection), praising her (verbal affirmation), the obvious  of helping her learn how to read and, finally, the moral lessons of hard work, love of family, and respect that she reads about in the Pathway Readers series.  I love them!  We are definitely doing more one-on-one times lately, but I think the kids are fine.  The Goob feels it a little, but he has been diligently working on some amazing stop motion cartooning with stick figures.  I love to see his humor emerge as he does it.  The other kids are developing more responsibility in following their own lists of scholastic goals for the day, checking them off, and reporting to me.  All great lessons!

After lunch complete with cool placemats with everything from maps to anatomy to telling time in front of them, we had some reading time while I tickled Chugger-dude's tummy as we lay in the hall.  We talked about the section of "Little Britches," looking for examples of charity.  Then I sat in the hallway with Liliputian doing a math workbook on one side of me and Hava on the other, snuggling, while Spooner went to sleep in the crib in the next room.  Hava read a chapter to me before Spooner fell asleep, just in time for Avot to start sign-language choir and dance. 

The kids worked for about two hours polishing up their dances and sign-language songs because we had some friends coming over to play basketball that afternoon with us at the church and then they were going to come to our house afterward.  Our friends said they were willing to watch our performance so the kids were ecstatic :)!  It was fun to listen to their singing and dancing while I drifted in and out of sleep.  About mid-point between my "nap," my four year old came in to snuggle and ended up falling asleep as well.  Lots of snuggling today!

We had a great time with our friends and hopefully my husband will upload the videos of their performance onto our youtube station.  They did an African dance since we are focusing on Africa this month and it was very energetic.  After doing an assortment of Disney songs and other fun numbers with sign language, they invited everyone in the room to a "dance off" doing the African moves as well.  Our friends were great sports, joining in enthusiastically.  I was the only one who didn't make it (the repetitive jumping up and down did "wonders" for the ligaments under my tummy, but I had to give it a try :)!).  Then the kids all ran off and played together while I enjoyed some talking time with my friend. 

Looking at the day, it was good even if it was slower paced.  No history chapter was read at lunch per the plan.  Geo Safari never emerged.  However, the kids played some math games on their own, got a lot of exercise, learned leadership and collaboration skills, did some kinesthetic learning, reading and had their "core" development with family reading and devotional.  Their work was completed on time and responsibly and they reported at our late "dinner" that night of waffles, yogurt and syrup...not the healthiest meal ever since my 10 year old talked me into all white flour waffles. "We never have those any more...just...*sigh*...wheat ones."  Poor dear.  Mother torturing him with health food :).  It worked, though, although the rest of them were more tactful at enjoying it without comparing it with the usual wheat ones.  They know their mother well!

I feel it is important to include the "different" looking days and point out the learning that happens all around us.  Even at the end of the day, my son learned how to make waffles that night, learned some skills in negotiation (he ended up loading the dishwasher for me and clearing the countertops off as part of the "deal" of white waffles), and we spent time together.  My second oldest shared some interesting points out of a book he is reading, "Gifted Hands," that were particularly inspiring.  Like I said, a good day.