"We come into the world...'trailing clouds of glory.'"
I wonder if we must go through successful "births" to the next level to mature and develop in a healthy way. When elements of our "births" are not present, we suffer, as much or more as if it were complications with the pregnancy and birth of a newborn.
What makes something a successful "birth"?
-Womb-like conditions
-Reliance upon the mother or nurturer
-Dramatic separation
-Changes in light and temperature (environment)
-Organs (or dormant skills, mental states, etc.) spring into action
-Umbilical cord severed
There are all sorts of comparisons and analogies with each of these aspects of a successful "birth" for the following hypothetical stages or "births" that our kids go through as the age. In the interest of time, I am just going to brainstorm as I go, bringing in different ideas I have as they come up. These are just part of a theory I am developing to better help me understand the growth of my children and maybe look at different ways to help them.
Different Points of "Birth"
1st birth: gain body
2nd birth: gain sense of self from parent ("you mean my mom and I are two separate beings?")...around 2 years old.
3rd birth: gain sense of identity ("My parents have one set of standards/beliefs/ideology but there are others out there. Where do I fit in?")...around 12 years old.
4th birth: gain independence ("I am in charge of myself and my destiny.") ...around 18.
Ramifications
So why does it matter to identify these stages?
Well, I think it would be helpful to recognize what is happening at each stage and the needs of an individual going through them. There is a womb-like need for children at each of these stages: times to be wrapped up, comforted, surrounded with support and comfort. But right up against it is the recognition that the "umbilical cord" needs to be cut and they need to struggle to "breathe" so those new "organs" can practice and be sustained.
I can see it right before and during some of my children's transitions, from my 3 year old to my 17 year old. They have times when they come to me and need to be wrapped up in love and assurance and just sheltered.
And then there are times when they are "cutting the umbilical cord." Trying out new "organs" like their mind, their will, their independence. The rest of the family often needs to step back and be patient with "birth" much as a family takes a reprieve from normality when they welcome a new little baby to the family circle. The family surrounds the new "little one" with warmth and acceptance. Do we do this for our emerging youth? Our emerging adults? Giving birth at any of these stages is not only painful and memorable but incredibly beautiful as we see a "new creature" emerge. So many comparisons and analogies!
I need to think about it some more:
--how can I recognize the "transitional elements" of these stages of birth and growth
--how can I foster a successful "birth" at these different stages
--at what point am I the nurturer, the womb, in charge of environment, the severer of the umbilical cord (if ever?...it is considered quite an honor in some circles to be the one who cuts it...new way to think about it...)
On a parting note, a funny yet sobering look at "cutting the umbilical cord."
Birth. Beautiful and powerful experience. Triumphant. Scary. New.
Each one of us developed physically within our mother’s womb while relying for many months on her body to sustain ours. Eventually, however, the process of birth—dramatic for both mother and child—separated us. (Wixom)As I read this quote above the other day, my head went spinning into direction with this concept of "birth." What makes up this experience of birth?
I believe that through the growth progress of a child to adult there are different "births" that our children go through. You can read about these in parenting books and literature about development (I will hopefully blog with more sources later) but this is my ah-hah based upon my studies and experience.As a baby emerges into this world, the change of temperature and light and the sudden release of pressure on the chest induce the baby to take its first gasping breath. Those little lungs suddenly fill with air for the first time, the organs spring into action, and the baby begins to breathe. As the umbilical cord is clamped, that lifeline between mother and baby is forever severed, and the baby’s life on earth begins.Job said, “The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life." (ibid)
I wonder if we must go through successful "births" to the next level to mature and develop in a healthy way. When elements of our "births" are not present, we suffer, as much or more as if it were complications with the pregnancy and birth of a newborn.
What makes something a successful "birth"?
-Womb-like conditions
-Reliance upon the mother or nurturer
-Dramatic separation
-Changes in light and temperature (environment)
-Organs (or dormant skills, mental states, etc.) spring into action
-Umbilical cord severed
There are all sorts of comparisons and analogies with each of these aspects of a successful "birth" for the following hypothetical stages or "births" that our kids go through as the age. In the interest of time, I am just going to brainstorm as I go, bringing in different ideas I have as they come up. These are just part of a theory I am developing to better help me understand the growth of my children and maybe look at different ways to help them.
Different Points of "Birth"
1st birth: gain body2nd birth: gain sense of self from parent ("you mean my mom and I are two separate beings?")...around 2 years old.
3rd birth: gain sense of identity ("My parents have one set of standards/beliefs/ideology but there are others out there. Where do I fit in?")...around 12 years old.
4th birth: gain independence ("I am in charge of myself and my destiny.") ...around 18.
Ramifications
So why does it matter to identify these stages?
Well, I think it would be helpful to recognize what is happening at each stage and the needs of an individual going through them. There is a womb-like need for children at each of these stages: times to be wrapped up, comforted, surrounded with support and comfort. But right up against it is the recognition that the "umbilical cord" needs to be cut and they need to struggle to "breathe" so those new "organs" can practice and be sustained.
And then there are times when they are "cutting the umbilical cord." Trying out new "organs" like their mind, their will, their independence. The rest of the family often needs to step back and be patient with "birth" much as a family takes a reprieve from normality when they welcome a new little baby to the family circle. The family surrounds the new "little one" with warmth and acceptance. Do we do this for our emerging youth? Our emerging adults? Giving birth at any of these stages is not only painful and memorable but incredibly beautiful as we see a "new creature" emerge. So many comparisons and analogies!
I need to think about it some more:
--how can I recognize the "transitional elements" of these stages of birth and growth
--how can I foster a successful "birth" at these different stages
--at what point am I the nurturer, the womb, in charge of environment, the severer of the umbilical cord (if ever?...it is considered quite an honor in some circles to be the one who cuts it...new way to think about it...)
On a parting note, a funny yet sobering look at "cutting the umbilical cord."
