A different look at piano lessons

My oldest was about 5 or 6 and I knew that she was gifted with music.  Tova had been singing since she could talk and loved to "play on the piano."  I simply knew that as a competent pianist (and her loving mother) I could give her the gift of music.  You get a good music book, drill her until she perfects that song, make her practice and voila!  Success! After all, everyone else did it

So, we sat down with a highly recommended book and we both excitedly began.  The excitement soon wore off for my daughter with days that followed of nagging on my part: both for practicing and perfection.  After all, that was how we all get better, right?  

My daughter is not like her brother and I, feisty verbal fighters.  She is more like my husband, quietly immovable.  She grew more and more silent and refused more and more to sit down to practice.  Determined that my reputation as a parent was on the line, I pushed and pushed, bribed and demanded. The outcome?

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The outcome? My daughter would not sit down to play at the piano for another 5 years.

I have had similar (albeit less dramatic) experiences with many other subjects and other children, although I have been able to recognize the signs sooner, fortunately.  I had to re-evaluate my goals with the piano.  I wanted my kids to have the enjoyment and confidence that musical talents grant: the ability to serve in the church, the joy of sitting down to calm down while playing an instrument, the experience of performing for the enjoyment of others.

However, as I looked around me, I saw many people who were burned out by the very method I had tried to force Avot through, people who had started on that musical path but who eventually dropped it or just stubbornly refused to progress.

When Tova was 12, she wanted to play the violin.  She asked about it constantly and I told her that I wasn't going to invest in an instrument and lessons if she wasn't going to be able to be dedicated to it.  The test?  She had to show that she could play and practice the piano for 6 months, three times a week.  Then, and only then, would I look into a violin and lessons.  That made sense to her and so we began.  However, this time my focus was different.  I found songs that she enjoyed at her level.  We would play them until she had shown competence in them, I would ask her if she wanted to work on it some more and then we would move on when she was ready.  There were even some songs that she just got tired of and we didn't ever finish.  I knew that other songs would teach her those same skills and it was far more effective to have her practicing a song that she loved, a song that she just couldn't resist sitting down to play every time she passed the piano.  

My goal?  To love and enjoy creating music.  The perfecting, the skills, the "nit-picky" analysis of her playing came later as she realized that she had more to learn and that she couldn't do it as well without me.  There had come a time when she just wanted to learn on her own. I would try to weekly ask her if she wanted a "lesson" (a time to guide her through her songs of preference and offer suggestions if she wanted to try them), but most of the time, she didn't.  

I also continued to play.  I offered lessons to the other kids, trying to find music and times that worked for them.  Super Kel has worked on and played maybe a total of 20 songs in his life and has played some beautiful ones.  I keep telling him that if he just played more, he could really play anything he wanted to.

The other kids have had different experiences, unique but positive:
-Tova has mastered her ability to the point she can play all the hymns and children's songs for our church, play a huge variety of songs, has accompanied choirs before and can pretty much learn whatever she wants to short of professional level

-The Goob likes the periodic, spontaneous lesson that involves bizarre sounding music that is repetitious and quick to learn.  Lately, however, he has asked for piano lessons every day, determined to learn the songs from the easy piano version of "Lord of the Rings" songs.  

-Lily (12) is more of a steady and sure type, but also determined to just play songs that she likes and only for as long as she likes. I have tried to give her "teaching" songs...songs to specifically teach her a skill but may not interest her musically and it bombs.  Sure, she goes through the motions during piano lessons, but when it comes to practicing she really doesn't progress because she doesn't love it.  Logic is not her strong-point so it all has to be emotional and audio: beautiful or fun music that I need to play again and again so she can memorize what it looks like and sounds like. We are barely starting to work on note recognition but she is one of my most dedicated students, with more practicing and lessons than most of the other kids.

-Chugger-dude (10) will do anything for a reward, loves to be methodical and is completely logical...which translates to the "ideal" piano student as far as classic techniques of teaching go, although each of them is a fun challenge.

-Little ones? We have fun with simple songs and I pull out the "super easy" book for beginners if they insist on being more "formal."  It normally doesn't last long, but they are happy and have fun.

Sports Day!

For those who are local, we have a sports day every Thursday, mentored by me and my husband, who both love sports!  We divide up into age groups and interests and sometimes have to be downright spontaneous when we have a flood of new people :). 

Benefits?
-team sports experience in a supportive environment
-learn good sportmanship
-learn proper warm-up and stretching techniques
-bond with people of many ages
-mentoring on techniques while having fun!

We were noticing this last week as we played ultimate frisbee how well the youth were doing who have been coming almost every week.

We are currently starting at an LDS church off of Highway 89 in Fruit Heights just a little north of Green Road (you can see it from Highway 89) with warm-ups and dodgeball.  After about 15-20 minutes of this, often an "older group" will split off and go to Nichol's Park to play ultimate frisbee, soccer, or football while the "younger group" stays to play dodgeball and other indoor games.  The kids decide for themselves where they go and parental supervision is required unless other arrangements are made with us.  We often have older kids stay to play indoors and younger ones go to play ultimate frisbee or soccer, so the line dividing the two is very loose :).

Every Thursday 4-5 pm.  Email me at biesingerm@gmail.com if you want to be on our list.

"GO Schooling"

I just found this delightful group with some fun posts.  I don't usually follow blogs outside of friend's blogs, knowing how much time it can take, but this one is fantastic!

http://goschoolers.com/

Apparently, you can sign up through their group to see Ballet West's version of Aladdin on April 13th at Capitol Theater!  Hopefully we will see some of you there!

Mellowing...

Tuesday was about as mellow as they come around here...we are definitely slowing down.  Devotional happened while the older ones were at seminary, but then it was time for scattering.  Liliputian was having a harder morning so we spent time together doing a very calm, supportive piano lesson.  I would rub her shoulders and praise her often, softening the hurt I could see all coiled up inside of her.  After we finished, she went elsewhere to read, much more calm.

At that point, lacking energy still, I asked Pipalicious if she wanted to read with me, since we hadn't gotten to it the day before.  As I sat there snuggling with her, I thought about all the needs I was meeting at once: snuggling (physical affection), praising her (verbal affirmation), the obvious  of helping her learn how to read and, finally, the moral lessons of hard work, love of family, and respect that she reads about in the Pathway Readers series.  I love them!  We are definitely doing more one-on-one times lately, but I think the kids are fine.  The Goob feels it a little, but he has been diligently working on some amazing stop motion cartooning with stick figures.  I love to see his humor emerge as he does it.  The other kids are developing more responsibility in following their own lists of scholastic goals for the day, checking them off, and reporting to me.  All great lessons!

After lunch complete with cool placemats with everything from maps to anatomy to telling time in front of them, we had some reading time while I tickled Chugger-dude's tummy as we lay in the hall.  We talked about the section of "Little Britches," looking for examples of charity.  Then I sat in the hallway with Liliputian doing a math workbook on one side of me and Hava on the other, snuggling, while Spooner went to sleep in the crib in the next room.  Hava read a chapter to me before Spooner fell asleep, just in time for Avot to start sign-language choir and dance. 

The kids worked for about two hours polishing up their dances and sign-language songs because we had some friends coming over to play basketball that afternoon with us at the church and then they were going to come to our house afterward.  Our friends said they were willing to watch our performance so the kids were ecstatic :)!  It was fun to listen to their singing and dancing while I drifted in and out of sleep.  About mid-point between my "nap," my four year old came in to snuggle and ended up falling asleep as well.  Lots of snuggling today!

We had a great time with our friends and hopefully my husband will upload the videos of their performance onto our youtube station.  They did an African dance since we are focusing on Africa this month and it was very energetic.  After doing an assortment of Disney songs and other fun numbers with sign language, they invited everyone in the room to a "dance off" doing the African moves as well.  Our friends were great sports, joining in enthusiastically.  I was the only one who didn't make it (the repetitive jumping up and down did "wonders" for the ligaments under my tummy, but I had to give it a try :)!).  Then the kids all ran off and played together while I enjoyed some talking time with my friend. 

Looking at the day, it was good even if it was slower paced.  No history chapter was read at lunch per the plan.  Geo Safari never emerged.  However, the kids played some math games on their own, got a lot of exercise, learned leadership and collaboration skills, did some kinesthetic learning, reading and had their "core" development with family reading and devotional.  Their work was completed on time and responsibly and they reported at our late "dinner" that night of waffles, yogurt and syrup...not the healthiest meal ever since my 10 year old talked me into all white flour waffles. "We never have those any more...just...*sigh*...wheat ones."  Poor dear.  Mother torturing him with health food :).  It worked, though, although the rest of them were more tactful at enjoying it without comparing it with the usual wheat ones.  They know their mother well!

I feel it is important to include the "different" looking days and point out the learning that happens all around us.  Even at the end of the day, my son learned how to make waffles that night, learned some skills in negotiation (he ended up loading the dishwasher for me and clearing the countertops off as part of the "deal" of white waffles), and we spent time together.  My second oldest shared some interesting points out of a book he is reading, "Gifted Hands," that were particularly inspiring.  Like I said, a good day.

My day unfolds...small moments

Devotional with the little ones was touching, short, and full of music and feelings.  We used a Bible video on "The Greatest Commandment": https://www.lds.org/bible-videos/videos/the-greatest-commandment?cid=HPFR022015710&lang=eng
Then we did a couple short "for little friends" segments: one short video on charity and a little article.  We finished by doing "reverence practice" while quietly watching and listening to the following.
http://www.mormontabernaclechoir.org/articles/trying-to-be-like-jesus-friend?lang=eng
I bore my testimony, we did our patriotic marching song with the older kids ("Fifty Nifty") and then they were off!

We were able to kick off our "charity" week with the older ones by watching the above Bible Video to remind us that we are studying why to have charity because it is helping us to become more like Christ.  I challenged them to find examples of "charity" for our group "word study" on Wednesday (I decided I wanted to have them have a little time to prepare).

We then read the article about the new theme for the year, "Youth are Encouraged to Serve Secretly," taking turns reading a paragraph and then watching the video on service in the middle of it.  We finished, watched the "Trying to Be Like Jesus" segment above and I challenged them to leave Hershey kisses on people's pillows this week in our family as we perform secret service...to try and "not let their right hand know what their left hands are doing."  We sang "I Feel My Savior's Love" in Hungarian for our closing song, had a prayer and then a short reflection time.

"Little Britches" was a two-chapter exciting day about Ralph's adventures on horseback and as a cow-herder and then Tova and Kel were off for debate. I did a quick check of people's marked off "jobs and basics" on our chart for the week and assigned the extra jobs.  I could sense that Maia (4) needed some mom-time (she is very volatile right now), so we started on a puzzle upstairs after finishing her time out for inappropriate behavior during family reading.  It was a little more challenging, but she persisted. I put on our iTunes playlist with kid's songs for her and little Spooner, who has spent the last 30 minutes dancing around to it.  We have patriotic music, kids church songs, and "classics" like "5 Little Ducks."  Spooner was happy, Maia was delighted to be spending time together and the other kids are spending some much needed learning, leading and creative time together.  Time for lunch!

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Maia is helping me with lunch. After getting out all the containers of leftovers, she came up to me with her preference for lunch: reeses brownies. Ummm...no.  Time to go and learn some principles of nutrition :).

Embracing the season: a toned-down approach to this week

I am tired...so tired.  I am approaching my six-month of pregnancy, am almost 40...well, we can all come up with reasons or excuses, but as I reached the end of last week I realized that it is time to embrace the season of this pregnancy.  Time to slow down!

We have had a great couple of months of more involved classes...time to let the kids take the lead and try and keep up with their academic interests :).  I will still focus on "Charity" during devotionals and in making connections in their learning for our final virtue of a "service-oriented leader" for this month, but will not organize as many classes around it.

For instance, today we will do a group "word study" as part of the devotional this morning, rather than have each child do their own.  I feel word studies are so valuable in gaining depth of understanding of the words we use and an excellent start to a week of learning about charity in leaders, in the world around us, in science and in art.  Other than that, I have asked the kids to put up on our white board things that they want my help with:
Kel: Math and piano lesson
Drew: Duty to God
Lily: Piano and math lesson and sew a scripture bag together
Hyrum: Piano lesson and sew on his scout badges (that I haven't gotten to for months!)

I will muster all my energy to make and clean up lunch (with Hyrum's help, since that is his area of work this week), read with the girls and take a nap, exercise at the park or school across the street, and then play games with them this afternoon.  There are learning opportunities in all of these things, opportunities to share insights from "Gifted Hands" by Ben Carson that I finished reading last night, comparisons to make with "Othello" that I am reading, and love to show through listening and being there.

Learning is a lifestyle around here.  Lily, Piper, Hava and Maia (12, 8, 6, and 4) are busily using the Clue board here on the counter-top to make believe scenarios, getting along and using creativity together.  Dramatics, expressions, consensus...all these are part of this learning process.  The other children and youth are busily finishing up zones and basics by 9, when I will start devotional.

Speaking of devotional, I am doing a smaller, shorter devotional with the little ones to embrace more of what I feel they need to understand charity on their level this week.  I like the flexibility of daily inspiration in how to approach the virtue we are focusing on this week and think this will help them become more excited about devotionals again and give us a little more one-on...well, -two time :).

Mission Impossible: The Adult Without Gaps

As I prepared for my most recent presentation about "homeschooling fears," I thought a great deal about fears that haunt homeschoolers:

-socialization
-curriculum
-adequate time
-enough patience

Many of these fears need to be looked squarely in the eye to identify, what is it that I am really afraid of?

One of these fears (and a concern I hear over and over again either directly or subliminally) is that "I am afraid that I will either not know 'enough' or teach 'enough' to make my child into a well-rounded adult."  When we look that fear head on, I believe many of us are paranoid that we will not teach our children everything.  And I mean that, everything.  We see ideas in a book, curriculum on another homeschoolers shelf, or even just "remember all that we have forgotten" from our own homeschooling and the panic sets in.

Okay...let's look that fear in the face.  What adult do we know that knows as much as we in the back of our fear-filled minds stress about "making sure" our children know?  We as adults have our strengths, our passions,...our weaknesses.  And, somehow, for the most part, we are all doing just fine.

So how do we know what to teach?  That is one reason I love the four lens approach.  I know that if I am teaching, connecting, and applying the beauty of looking at and for truth using the different lenses, my children are learning how to do the same.  The area of specializing or the actual "tools" we are using to look for truth may vary: writing vs. speaking, biology vs. geology, algebra vs. geometry, American history vs. world history.  We will emphasize or highlight some more than others.

However, this brings me back to something I remind myself of often...why do we teach them?

I just read a fantastic article called "A School in Zion" by Jeffery Holland (the link takes you to a more complete version than the one I read).  In it, Jeffery Holland says this:

"The connectedness of things is what the educator [must pursue]," said Mark Van Doren.  "No human capacity is great enough to permit a vision of the world as simple, but if the educator does not aim at the vision no one else will, and the consequences are dire when no one does...

"[We need a school] to help [students] sort through much intellectual nonsense that is inevitably in an inert swamp of facts."

If I wanted my children to simply memorize and regurgitate facts as the objective of my homeschooling, I could easily hand them the internet and say, "have fun!"  or "let's do trivia games!"  There is a place for memorization, but as a tool and a means and not as the end itself.    We have been blessed with more knowledge at our fingertips than we will ever know what to do with. I believe this has been true for several centuries, sure that even Thomas Jefferson had books on his shelf that he never got to and wish he could have read.

However, knowing what to do with information, how to give it context in our minds, how to apply it and let it change our lives, that is my objective.  We have a super-highway bogged down with more truths and half-truths and outright lies than one person will be able to read in a lifetime, let alone process.  Let us create students who know how to find and identify truth and apply it in a life-changing, world-changing way!  "Inert swamp of facts," indeed!

Using the four lenses and focusing on principles opens the way to make those connections and find truth all at the same time!  From there, interests in particular subjects (biology, Japanese, the history of WWII) are kindled and depth happens quite on its own.

For example (because we all like examples, right?) we are talking about motivation this week.  I am going to be teaching the chapter on paths that light travels in the "In the Beginning" science text by Wiles today. In it, he teaches about fiber optics and how light can be "bent" to follow a path.  There is a great yet simple experiment involving a 2-liter bottle, water, and light like the image at the left (although I do not have a cool green light :)...).  (It didn't work, but apparently Bill Nye covered it in the video I had them watch...sweet!)

As you can see, the light actually bends to follow the path of the water.  We will talk about how our motivation will bend our light, our testimony, our goodness into the path we are motivated to follow.  As we have read books aloud this week, encountered information from the news, or even looked at our behavior one towards another, we have discussed questions like "what is the motivation behind this?" or "what are we seeking for by doing this or that?"  Even my 6 year old is making connections and looking for examples of motivation--for good or bad!--in the world around her.

Now, having done the above science experiment, my children (the boys in particular) know that they love science and looking at the world scientifically.  Will that not serve them well when they are older and come across a course on biology or chemistry or physics? They will be able to delve deeper, gaining more understanding of laws and insight into current theories about how this amazing universe of ours runs.  As Stephen Hawking puts it in his short essay, Our Picture of the Universe (from "A Brief History of Time"), "the eventual goal of science is to provide a single theory that describes the whole universe."

In my context, to become like God, to know as He knows and think like He thinks.

Ancient mathematicians concurred that math was the pursuit of truth: truth that they identified and organized into numerical and conceptual patterns that reflected that truth.

If we know the why of what we are teaching, it becomes more attainable to teach it without getting bogged down by the scope of everything we are not (and cannot realistically!!!!) teach our children on our own.  Let us teach them, rather, how to use the different lenses, the different true ways of discovering knowledge and applying it and then awaken in them in the process an excitement with making connections and finding context to the truths they are learning!  The depth will come.

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(http://momlifetoday.com/2011/10/homeschooling-fears/...great article about fears and homeschooling!)