Which Part Is Mine?

My friend asked me a great question:

How have I stepped back and allowed them to fail?

In what ways did you do that? It's been a very recent conversation at our house, stepping back. But like in your "which part is mine" post, different kids have different needs. Some I can step back far and easily. Others still need it. Different situations also need different levels of involvement. If others are relying on them to be successful, then I need to help them be successful. If the failure lies solely with them, fine. I've seen others do it completely wrong - canceling a while scout activity because one boy didn't make a call to arrange it, yet the leaders didn't remind and parents probably weren't aware. They call it a lesson, but how embarrassing for the boy. Would he accept that responsibility from them again? Probably not.

What part is mine?  These are my answers, but yours may look different.  Please post below any you have or ideas you have!! :)

--Protect environment: structure, respect, love, food :)

--Weekly accountability meetings: what do you want from Mom?  How can I create a class or find a class or experience that will help them?  Help facilitate it.  Help them set S.M.A.R.T. goals

--Lessons you feel they need to learn: devotionals (moral lessons), work ethic

--Follow-through with consequences

--"Return and Report" opportunities

To allow for failure means that there is something they are failing at: it means they are trying. It means they are reaching. It means they have commitments.  My friend's last situation is definitely not failure completely on the scout's part...but there is some ownership of the scout in that situation as well.  If the scout wanted it badly enough, he could have insisted or pushed forward.  No...not all scouts have that passion or vision nor do they need to have it to be a good scout.  But I think every situation has something to learn from...even that last example from my friend.  

Quick response, sorry!