This morning was a great example.
"Mom, I'm sorry I didn't wake up," Liliputian (13) contritely told me. I shrugged. "No worries! You know what you need to do to improve and get it done :)."
She has to have her basics and breakfast ready by 7 to get the $1 allowance for the day and must have it all done by 9 before she gets extra jobs as a consequence. I lovingly remind them. Lovingly administer consequences (no lecture). Lovingly follow-through and express encouragement that they can improve if it seems they need it.
At least, that is the ideal :). I am hitting this more often now. I used to feel guilty, like their lack of doing what they know how to do was my inadequacies or my responsibility. With the younger ones, yes. The Spirit lets me know. With the older ones, I am letting them own it, feel their own validation more and more and letting the Spirit "lecture" them.
That is my big "stepping back" I need to do. Let their conscience, the Holy Spirit, God...whatever you want to call it...letting that inner voice admonish and teach them and be more silent. Letting that inner voice validate and approve. Of course, I still praise, cheer, verbally approve a lot. I have just been doing it a little too enthusiastically sometimes and I feel the Spirit say, "Hey. Give me some room here :)."
Boundaries. Expectations. Rules.
Those are all in place. I am just learning to be content with them experiencing the consequences of their conscience and the mild and fair ones we have established when heads are cooler :).
"Mom, I'm sorry I didn't wake up," Liliputian (13) contritely told me. I shrugged. "No worries! You know what you need to do to improve and get it done :)."
She has to have her basics and breakfast ready by 7 to get the $1 allowance for the day and must have it all done by 9 before she gets extra jobs as a consequence. I lovingly remind them. Lovingly administer consequences (no lecture). Lovingly follow-through and express encouragement that they can improve if it seems they need it.
At least, that is the ideal :). I am hitting this more often now. I used to feel guilty, like their lack of doing what they know how to do was my inadequacies or my responsibility. With the younger ones, yes. The Spirit lets me know. With the older ones, I am letting them own it, feel their own validation more and more and letting the Spirit "lecture" them.
That is my big "stepping back" I need to do. Let their conscience, the Holy Spirit, God...whatever you want to call it...letting that inner voice admonish and teach them and be more silent. Letting that inner voice validate and approve. Of course, I still praise, cheer, verbally approve a lot. I have just been doing it a little too enthusiastically sometimes and I feel the Spirit say, "Hey. Give me some room here :)."
Boundaries. Expectations. Rules.
Those are all in place. I am just learning to be content with them experiencing the consequences of their conscience and the mild and fair ones we have established when heads are cooler :).
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