Some days, the Spirit floods me with ideas of things we can do.
Some days, the Spirit says; don't plan anything.
Yesterday was one of those "plan nothing" days. Why? Because even if you plan something, you are not going to get to it, so don't even bother. Sometimes, "life" is the agenda.
Looking back, our family schedule was full enough:
-sign language performance in the morning after a quick run-through
-quick trip to the MAAC (local "DI" or "Goodwill" equivelant) to drop off stuff and look for summer shorts for the girls
-FHE at 1 pm (because that was when we could all do it)
-meal times? (that is labor intensive enough!)
Looking back, there wasn't that much scheduled but, boy! We went a lot of crazy emotional directions and I that was my job...field the crazy emotions.
Over the years, we have had many of these: days when what was scheduled or even meal-times kind of fall by the wayside because of emotional learning, emotional situations...and those are never planned. I mean, you don't just wake up and say, "Today we are going to learn about anger and have a real-life simulation! Doesn't that sound like fun???"
No. It doesn't :).
However, I have seen that as we have dropped everything for the day (or just not worried about how things went) and focused on healing, that has been the most important educational lesson for the day.
Yesterday, our sound system was all wacko at the rest-home. The kids did a great job, the Spirit was there, but boy!!! Did everything seem to go wrong with the sound!
After leaving the MAAC, I realized that I had left the clothes there and ran back. After getting the clothes in a miraculously close call, I felt prompted to text and call a couple people. I stayed in the parking lot to do so (honoring those traffic laws, right :)?) I came home to find out that one of the kids had been picking up and throwing another kid (who had been "being mean" to another kid) and most of the little ones were outside in fear.
Yah. Safe place.
Later, the meanness was perpetuated on down as another older one was a bully and then another and another. Ach.
Most of my day was spent in desperately seeking the Spirit to know how to not only talk to the perpetrators, but how to heal the victims and hopefully break the bully cycle. Darn.
However, at the end of the day, I was humbled as I looked back and saw that God had helped me soften at least a couple layers in the hardness of the older kids through my words and actions. I could see that they were at least thinking about what I said, which is a huge improvement when we are in the heat of the battle.
I have found that it is important to know when to "battle" and when to love. When to talk and when to listen. Follow the Spirit.
"Crucial Conversations" is an excellent book to read for situations like these, as is "The Anatomy of Peace" and "Leadership and Self-Deception." My recent favorite, "Amish Parenting" book is also particularly fabulous. I think the "Crucial Conversations" book should be on everyone's shelf. It takes the battle out of the situation.
Best resource ever? The life of Christ.
But don't walk away from these days and call them wasted! If we can raise emotionally resilient and healthy children, they will have a basis to operate for the rest of their lives that will further their education far more than learning their math facts!
Calm down. Take a deep breath and know that the education that needs to happen is happening and take the time to make it count.
Some days, the Spirit says; don't plan anything.
Yesterday was one of those "plan nothing" days. Why? Because even if you plan something, you are not going to get to it, so don't even bother. Sometimes, "life" is the agenda.
Looking back, our family schedule was full enough:
-sign language performance in the morning after a quick run-through
-quick trip to the MAAC (local "DI" or "Goodwill" equivelant) to drop off stuff and look for summer shorts for the girls
-FHE at 1 pm (because that was when we could all do it)
-meal times? (that is labor intensive enough!)
Looking back, there wasn't that much scheduled but, boy! We went a lot of crazy emotional directions and I that was my job...field the crazy emotions.
Over the years, we have had many of these: days when what was scheduled or even meal-times kind of fall by the wayside because of emotional learning, emotional situations...and those are never planned. I mean, you don't just wake up and say, "Today we are going to learn about anger and have a real-life simulation! Doesn't that sound like fun???"
No. It doesn't :).
However, I have seen that as we have dropped everything for the day (or just not worried about how things went) and focused on healing, that has been the most important educational lesson for the day.
Yesterday, our sound system was all wacko at the rest-home. The kids did a great job, the Spirit was there, but boy!!! Did everything seem to go wrong with the sound!
After leaving the MAAC, I realized that I had left the clothes there and ran back. After getting the clothes in a miraculously close call, I felt prompted to text and call a couple people. I stayed in the parking lot to do so (honoring those traffic laws, right :)?) I came home to find out that one of the kids had been picking up and throwing another kid (who had been "being mean" to another kid) and most of the little ones were outside in fear.
Yah. Safe place.
Later, the meanness was perpetuated on down as another older one was a bully and then another and another. Ach.
Most of my day was spent in desperately seeking the Spirit to know how to not only talk to the perpetrators, but how to heal the victims and hopefully break the bully cycle. Darn.
However, at the end of the day, I was humbled as I looked back and saw that God had helped me soften at least a couple layers in the hardness of the older kids through my words and actions. I could see that they were at least thinking about what I said, which is a huge improvement when we are in the heat of the battle.
I have found that it is important to know when to "battle" and when to love. When to talk and when to listen. Follow the Spirit.
Best resource ever? The life of Christ.
But don't walk away from these days and call them wasted! If we can raise emotionally resilient and healthy children, they will have a basis to operate for the rest of their lives that will further their education far more than learning their math facts!
Calm down. Take a deep breath and know that the education that needs to happen is happening and take the time to make it count.
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