From Police State to Flexibility

These two videos capture so much of what I am feeling about homeschooling and my role right now:

These, combined with a card from my missionary daughter, are causing a lot of introspection of my home:

Thanks for the wonderful year, Mom!  You've allowed me to step out and take more control over how my life is going to turn out.  Though you've given me the chance to make mistakes, you're always been there for me to talk to and to get love from.  Always.

I live in New York now, one of the hardest states to homeschool in.  To do many things in, actually, due to the intense regulation of everything.  I drive in dread that I am going to be stopped and find out some loop-hole, some unknown or unfamiliar law, that I am going to be heavily penalized for. (I have had three traffic violations so far while driving here in New York after over twenty years with no violations.  $600 later.)

There is no mercy in the state of New York. Among the hearts of the people, yes.  Among any government official carrying out their duty, never.  And it is just how it is, apparently.

I have thought about the dread that fills my heart whenever I drive, knowing that if there is a misunderstanding, there is no mercy.  In my home, I have been a little overzealous in making sure I follow through with things, having read and heard over and over again how detrimental it is to be inconsistent.

But do I allow that to get in the way of mercy? Of flexibility?

I resonate with the first woman so much in her desire for control, order and structure.  It is one of the hardest things in the world for me to operate in our home when it is cluttered or dirty...and I have now been operating in that state for now over a year with moving and remodeling our entire house.


Flexibility.  Finding joy.  Lessons I need to learn and perhaps my children in years to come? In the meanwhile, I am trying to make our home less of a police-state and more of a merciful haven for learning, mistakes, agency and growth.

Boundaries? Yes.  Rules? Yes. Expectations? Yes.  Just as God has those for us with natural consequences and blessings.  Trying to model my parenting and schooling after Him takes a little more flexibility and agency for what I feel my kids need right now.  For others, they may need more structure.  Others, less.  Listen to the Spirit.  Trust God.

 Times and seasons.  Times and seasons.