Slow Down...Work in Progress

Here is some mood music:

We really do...move too fast, that is.

A poem captures this for me:

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round,
or listened to rain slapping the ground?Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight,or gazed at the sun fading into the night?You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,time is short, the music won’t last.Do you run through each day on the fly,When you ask “How are you?”, do you hear the reply?When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,with the next hundred chores running through your head?You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,time is short, the music won’t last.Ever told your child, we’ll do it tomorrow,and in your haste not see his sorrow?Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die,’cause you never had time to call and say “hi”?You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,time is short, the music won’t last.When you run so fast to get somewhere,you miss half the fun of getting there.When you worry and hurry through your day,it’s like an unopened gift thrown away.Life is not a race, so take it slower,hear the music before the song is over.

I heard this poem years ago and it has lingered in my mind over the years.  Too often we get so caught up in busy-ness that our kids don't have time to think, to dream, to let the learning sink deep.

There are a few things we need to do to protect this:

1) Review the schedule: If we have too many classes, it can burn out the kids.
I started this year with more classes and more intense classes.  By the end of day two each week my enthusiastic nine-year-old was losing her "shine."  "Are we almost done with classes, Mom?" she would patiently ask.  She is not a whiner. I was just burning her out, even though she was obviously having fun with the classes.

Ware the ZPD zone!  The  "zone of proximal discomfort"!  Basically, it is the zone that we push ourselves or others into when we start feeling a little stretched, a little uncomfortable.  The theory is that it will help us go further next time.  For older kids and adults, this works.  For little ones, it burns them out and effectively kills their love of learning.  You can see if your kids thrive or die in that zone by watching what they do when something stretches them.

I like to use the work environment to test that, not the learning environment.
I find that they will start testing themselves by starting to participate in more and more of the classes that I offer...again, "classes" that are really just invitations for my kids to come along and learn with me!

2) Create "The Mood":

For us, this means waking up to inspirational or classical music, making sure we are being respectful of others and our space and me being nice.  Pretty simple.  Pretty challenging :).

Play with it. It is fun when it just feels right. And then replicate what is good and eliminate what is bad!

(Like when I just blew it and lost my temper at my 11 year old who was complaining that there were things on the table that he didn't know where they went.  Sadly, I looked a lot like my 3 year old that just threw a tantrum over having to share his stolen graham cracker. Hmmm...)

One thing I am very, very zealous about is minimizing the distraction of screens.  When I see the little lights turn off or the screens distracting my thinkers so that they gravitate to it when they should be exploring the inner creative regions of their mind and possibility :).  I see it as "protecting their inner space."  For us, it means very little online/video time and no video or computer games.  None.  At our house anyway.  It is just not worth the cost.  They get it at friends' houses, but we talk about the influence and effect and they have seen the effect on others.  We sure have our things that distract, bad eating, etc. and are not perfect, but this is one place where I have drawn the line to create "the mood."

3) Be Patient

I couldn't really do this when I just had younger kids.  I was so worried that our day to day schedules and routines were just not enough. I would lose patience with the older ones, feeling that their "transition to scholar" phase wasn't "transitioning" fast enough!  Why can I not just accept what I have studied and observed: that people if given love and a nurturing environment, a sense of work and accountability and being exposed to greatness, will want to push themselves.

I am actually allowing my 17 year old to go back and do a more comfortable and safe love of learning environment right now, similar to my own that I experienced at 27 when exposed to "A Thomas Jefferson Education."  I feel he needs a more solid foundation. He has done scholar level work but most of it has not been intrinsically motivated.  It is neat to see him thriving and exploring a realm of different learning styles and topics, from artwork to the presidential race.  Again, I have parameters for "The Mood"--limited social media/texting time, work expectations, etc.  It is just in his schooling that I am taking a deep breath, stepping back, doing WAMs and loving and supporting.

I see a sleeping giant awakening.  We have been doing a lot of "core" work this last year on our relationship.  Yes.  he is 17.  It is never too late.  You cannot build on a sandy foundation.

Foundation, foundation, foundation.

4) Have Fun!

Enjoy these years!  These years of learning and growth. As you allow yourself to relax and really savor what is going on in your home, you begin to notice the little "buds of growth" that are happening all around you: the baby's mimicking (for good or ill!) his 3-year-old brother; the 11-year-old faithfully reading aloud to little ones, blessing them and perfecting his own diction and voice projection skills; older ones challenging the younger ones to feats of strength or to improve, like when my 17 year old son stood in front of the mirror for almost an hour to try different ways that his 14 year old brother could style his naturally curly hair to "embrace it," as my older son put it.  Precious.

When you are going too fast, as the poem suggests, you miss so much!  I found that I was getting so anxious about what I was not doing, that I was failing to not only acknowledge but enjoy and validate what was actually happening!  Take a deep breath.  Learn from me.  Enjoy the moment.

It will have astonishing effects on your productivity, ability to inspire, and feelings in the environment in your home!

Next post: The phases--their importance and how they look in my home...from schooling to athletics.