Sometimes I get caught up so much in routine, that I reason my way out of spiritual promptings...like the one that has been saying:STOP! for the past couple of weeks.
And I have been ignoring it. Finally, last week God got serious and sternly reproached me for not listening. So I started listening,...a little. Not enough.
I am going to sign-out for a while and just try and follow promptings. Yesterday my schedule on the board just had up the bare minimum because I have kids who cling to schedules as reference points, even things like "breakfast, lunch, and dinner" and we still have things like basketball as a family and devotional that we are going to do...until I feel prompted that those, too, need to just go away from being scheduled in. Maybe I need to learn to be more spontaneous?
Anyway, I have learned that over the years, if I ignore the heavens, deferring it for mere mortal "logic and experience" I will just reach a lot of dead ends.
Maybe when we emerge, we will just have one lens per week (a direction I have been heading, feeling that this one a day is a bit hectic and doesn't allow me to really immerse myself in things)...mirroring what I did as a group as well.
I will still be working on organizing the website for Vanguard and making new videos (it is one of those things screaming for me to do on my "inspired list" but I won't be doing much email or other computer time right now. I think the most important thing I need to do right now is just be there for my kids and just enjoy them and love them...almost a feeling that I need to get off "list mode" to find out what is truly important.
I know I will be thankful when looking back. Why is it so scary to just let go and trust? Praying for me and anyone else who may be in this same boat. Ironically (or not) it is Spring Break here. Breathe. Just breathe and trust, Mary.
And I have been ignoring it. Finally, last week God got serious and sternly reproached me for not listening. So I started listening,...a little. Not enough.
I am going to sign-out for a while and just try and follow promptings. Yesterday my schedule on the board just had up the bare minimum because I have kids who cling to schedules as reference points, even things like "breakfast, lunch, and dinner" and we still have things like basketball as a family and devotional that we are going to do...until I feel prompted that those, too, need to just go away from being scheduled in. Maybe I need to learn to be more spontaneous?
Anyway, I have learned that over the years, if I ignore the heavens, deferring it for mere mortal "logic and experience" I will just reach a lot of dead ends.
Maybe when we emerge, we will just have one lens per week (a direction I have been heading, feeling that this one a day is a bit hectic and doesn't allow me to really immerse myself in things)...mirroring what I did as a group as well.
I will still be working on organizing the website for Vanguard and making new videos (it is one of those things screaming for me to do on my "inspired list" but I won't be doing much email or other computer time right now. I think the most important thing I need to do right now is just be there for my kids and just enjoy them and love them...almost a feeling that I need to get off "list mode" to find out what is truly important.
I know I will be thankful when looking back. Why is it so scary to just let go and trust? Praying for me and anyone else who may be in this same boat. Ironically (or not) it is Spring Break here. Breathe. Just breathe and trust, Mary.
Thank you for this. I feel I need to also step back from the craziness our lives have become and really try to hear what the spirit is trying to say to me. I feel so overwhelmed and ready to throw in the towel. I have been praying but I don't think I have done much listening. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how we do that? Pray for guidance then go our own way? I have been spending that last couple months trying to do just that and the peace and direction have started to come as I have imperfectly fallen into old, non-trusting pathways and then tried to follow in faith again. It is definitely a daily struggle for me. Why is this so hard? :)
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